What Causes Low Self-Esteem?

Abusive Parents and Substance Abuse Can Lower Mental Resilience

Nov 8, 2009

Low self-esteem can affect one's life in a variety of harmful ways. It stems from the early childhood years and can continue well into adulthood.

Self-esteem is an appraisal of one's own self-worth. People with healthy levels of self-esteem do well in school and find it easy to make friends. Children and adults with low self-esteem are just the opposite. They are less apt to accept new challenges and they may be reluctant to trust their own opinions. Emphasizing the negative points in every situation, this pattern of behaviour can lead to some dire consequences.

There is no single cause of low self-esteem, but much of it comes from troubled and dysfunctional families. In an abusive environment or in a home where the prevailing messages involve finding fault in every action, children will begin to believe they are not worthy of love and respect. Low self-esteem is thought to be the catalyst for many social ills, such as drug addiction, domestic violence and educational failure.

A Combination of Factors That Cause Low Self-Esteem

If there is more than one of the following causes at work in somebody's life, it can create a snowball effect and make that person feel more and more out of control. Other causes of low self-esteem can include:

Low self-esteem could also result from long periods of unemployment, an ugly divorce, health problems and many more.

Characteristics of People Who Have Low Self-Esteem

A person with poor self-esteem is apt to maintain a distance from others and, in the process, this person may deny himself the care and respect that he so desperately needs. A constant sinking feeling that doesn't quite go away, or the belief that nothing positive will ever be accomplished are unmistakable signs of low self-esteem. This person may also disregard any feedback that contradicts their beliefs because they have carried around such negative pictures of themselves since childhood.

People who exhibit the following traits are also likely suffering from low self-esteem:

Fully expecting to mess things up, they will not go after a better job or pursue relationships. This creates a vicious cycle in which no effort is put forward and so no accomplishments can be made. Low self-esteem can plummet even lower.

How to Reverse Low Self-Esteem

An important step for somebody who has low self-esteem would be to rid themselves of all the negative people in his/her life. Misery loves company and those will low self-esteem will attract each other just as easily as positive individuals can gravitate to like minded people.

Turning low self-esteem around is a choice and it has nothing to do with luck. Positive affirmations, or replacing negative messages that are tied with painful memories with positive ones, will take determination and persistence. Everyone has the power to change how they feel. Some people attribute their depressed moods to external and uncontrollable factors, such as the shaky economy, the constant threat of war, bad weather and so on. The reality is that thoughts and attitudes create feelings.

Learn to do new things. If a lack of achievements is a constant source of strain and despair, then the only solution is to go out and get new skills. Exercise is a great mood booster. Losing a few pounds will do wonders for confidence and self-esteem.

See Your Way to Self Esteem: An in Depth Study of the Causes and Cures of Low Self Esteem by Peter Michaelson, Prospect Books Inc., 1993.

The copyright of the article What Causes Low Self-Esteem? in Personality/Anxiety/Mood Disorders is owned by Scott Hayden. Permission to republish What Causes Low Self-Esteem? in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.