Finding Hope Through Al-Anon
Friends and Relatives of Alcoholics Find Help at 12-Step Meetings
Apr 7, 2009
Anyone who lives with or is affected by the drinking addiction of another person can easily feel alone, thinking no one cares. However, by attending 12-step Al-Anon meetings and using the literature and other tools in the Al-Anon program, friends and family members of alcoholics can find hope. Meetings are based on the 12-steps taken from Alcoholics Anonymous which are adapted for codependents affected by alcoholics.
What is Al-Anon
Al-Anon Family Groups are fellowships of friends and relatives of alcoholics who meet together regularly to share their experiences, strengths and hopes in an effort to overcome their common problems resulting from someone else’s drinking problem. Al-Anon contends that alcoholism is a family disease and it’s only through changing the attitude about a drinking problem that recovery can come. Meetings are also held, world-wide, for teenagers (Ala-Teen) who are affected by the drinking of family members.
Al-Anon is Independent
Not connected with any denomination, sect, organization, political entity or institution, Al-Anon is self-supporting through the voluntary contributions of its members. It doesn’t endorse or oppose issues. By not taking part in controversy, it stays neutral, centering its focus on helping friends and loved ones get well and enjoy life again.
Who Can Join Al-Anon
The only requirement to joining Al-Anon is having someone in your life who is an alcoholic. It could be a spouse, a child, a parent or a friend. The alcoholic qualifying one to become a part of Al-Anon is called a “qualifier”. Usually, people who are frustrated with the drinking of someone are referred to go to Al-Anon by counselors. Local meetings are held throughout the world.
A Typical Meeting
The hardest part of going to Al-Anon is opening the door to that first meeting. Typically, first-timers are afraid of people recognizing them, especially if they live in a small town. However, from the moment one enters an Al-Anon room they feel the love and support of the people there. People go around the room and introduce themselves by their first names only, assuring visitors Al-Anon is a safe place where what is said there, stays there. In other words, the principle of anonymity is stressed. A basket is passed around the room where people can contribute a small donation to help the pay the cost of literature and other expenses for using the room. Meetings are usually held in churches, hospitals, community centers and other public buildings.
Online Meetings
Besides fact-to-fact meetings, members can also take advantage of online meetings held throughout the week at different times of the day. Also, many Al-Anon groups have email meetings between meetings where they share and encourage one another.
Al-Anon Literature
Reading Al-Anon literature is also important in recovering from the pain of codependency and finding hope. Besides being available at meetings, you can also find Al-Anon literature online. Two of their most widely-read devotional books are “The Courage to Change” and “One Day at a Time”.
Finally, Al-Anon is not about changing the alcoholic in your life. It’s about the people affected by alcoholism changing. It’s about getting off the alcoholic’s back and getting on with your life. What’s more, the principles of Al-Anon can be used for any type of control situation. In other words, you don’t necessarily have to have an alcoholic as your qualifier to join. In addition to having someone who has another addiction such as drug addiction, a “qualifier” can be anyone whose actions have been controlling your life, robbing you of the joy you deserve to have.
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